Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
