So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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