Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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