Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
