It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
