Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize