I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
