Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
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Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
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