Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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