If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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