Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
