he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
