I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
