Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize