i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
