Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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