i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
