Screwed.edu
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
