eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
