Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.

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  (314): last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga. http://tfl.nu/5ric
  Replies (16) Good night (4082) Bad night (1113)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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  (937): after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head. http://tfl.nu/3prw
  Replies (45) Good night (10624) Bad night (4363)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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  (360): Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?" http://tfl.nu/c0v9
  Replies (13) Good night (9034) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

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  (425): oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog http://tfl.nu/rz7h
  Replies (30) Good night (6402) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.

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  (207): Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me. http://tfl.nu/7so1
  Replies (20) Good night (3084) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.

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  (412): I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke. http://tfl.nu/tyrp
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (2700)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.

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  (617): Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee. http://tfl.nu/9xkv
  Replies (2) Good night (2173) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor

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  (610): Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor http://tfl.nu/pp4j
  Replies (1) Good night (964) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.

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  (832): We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad. http://tfl.nu/9s88
  Replies (3) Good night (1117) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...

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  (617): A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain... http://tfl.nu/gy86
  Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.

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  (585): If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang. http://tfl.nu/cb2r
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do

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  (203): Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do http://tfl.nu/ky18
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was

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  (630): He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was http://tfl.nu/qjtz
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs

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  (516): fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs http://tfl.nu/oioa
  Replies (0) Good night (827) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  i think my cat just said my name.

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  (386): i think my cat just said my name. http://tfl.nu/zcy1
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (175)

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