Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?

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  (214): Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college? http://tfl.nu/yctk
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (2282)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.

  (585): View more from New York

  I hate you.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.

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  (314): My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers. (585): I hate you. (314): To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me. http://tfl.nu/wpxa
  Replies (23) Good night (3118) Bad night (513)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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  (847): So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be http://tfl.nu/8bju
  Replies (209) Good night (19824) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.

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  (603): he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me. http://tfl.nu/oqud
  Replies (79) Good night (816) Bad night (6271)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today

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  (770): I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today http://tfl.nu/te6h
  Replies (41) Good night (5440) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

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  (205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp
  Replies (34) Good night (5619) Bad night (789)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.

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  (973): he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade. http://tfl.nu/270g
  Replies (20) Good night (1491) Bad night (5474)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming

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  (434): do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming http://tfl.nu/c7ht
  Replies (6) Good night (3255) Bad night (755)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

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  (540): It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/h39y
  Replies (8) Good night (2268) Bad night (1136)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday

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  (406): you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday http://tfl.nu/fxk1
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine

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  (978): He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine http://tfl.nu/bvyx
  Replies (12) Good night (2149) Bad night (700)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.

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  (248): Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it. http://tfl.nu/f0ca
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."

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  (864): Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy." http://tfl.nu/9d84
  Replies (18) Good night (655) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails

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  (703): I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails http://tfl.nu/g65f
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.

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  (202): Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund. http://tfl.nu/7pae
  Replies (8) Good night (206) Bad night (706)

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