So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.