Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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