dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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