your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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