They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize