She's JV to your varsity
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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