I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
