dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
