i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
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