alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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