I haven't been this sober since birth.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
