Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
