It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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