I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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