It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
