wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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