Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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