i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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