He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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