Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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