You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
