My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
