It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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