I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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