Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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