Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
