; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
