NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
