This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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