So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
