i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
God I need to hump something, right now.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
