he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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