hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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