Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
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a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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