i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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