You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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