hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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