'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize