i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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