dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
