OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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