i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
