dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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