well I can't set my house on fire every night
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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