i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
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Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize