ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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