Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
